I laughed long and loud as I read a blog on Neil
Lennon this morning, after clicking on a link on my twitter timeline.
Honestly, on so many levels this is hilarious stuff.
First of all, we've got a The Rangers fan calling himself "celticnewco," posting on a blog called "celticnewco." I mean, isn't it supposed to be Celtic fans that are obsessed with The Rangers?
Anyway, Mr Celticnewco goes to great lengths to insist that "I'm not a bigot, but..." as he rails about the collar on Neil Lennon's tracksuit top which looks like an Irish tri-colour!
The blog is saturated with vanguardbearloony memes that seek to present a veneer of reasonableness to whatever loopy complaint is being made today.
How about this one:
"I am old enough to remember as far back as 1980 when I attended the Old Firm Cup Final and saw thousands of Irish tricolours being waved by Celtic fans. I remember asking my faither why a Scottish club was waving this flag and he told me that this fascination with the Irish tricolour only started in 1969 when the provisional IRA took up arms against us, the British public."Here we have the heart rending tale of a young boy absolutely bemused by those nasty Celtic fans waving their Irish flags, and a fine upstanding father no doubt stoically fighting back the tears of sorrow as he solemnly informs his son that all Celtic fans are IRA supporters.
The The Rangers supporters you see - they simply want everyone to be as proud to be British as they are, then we could all get along just fine.
Mr Celticnewco then follows that up with:
"That is why the Irish tricolour, although not sectarian in the slightest, is sectarian when waved by a Celtic supporter. They do not see the flag as that of an EU Nation with close ties with the UK. They see it as the flag of an outlawed sectarian organisation. Proof of which is shown below."
Just think about that - an inanimate object, when waved by a Celtic supporter, is sectarian.
According to Mr Celticnewco, Celtic fans - all of whose minds he can read - see the flag of the Republic of Ireland as the flag of an outlawed sectarian organisation. This, in some unexplained, possibly magical way, makes the flag sectarian.
Maybe they "tar it with a sickening sectarian brush," Mr Celticnewco?
After giving us a brief "history lesson," (stop laughing at the back!), Mr Celticnewco, no doubt typing while wearing the traditional history teacher's outfit of tweed jacket with leather elbow patches, corduroy trousers and matching brown brogues, then turns to the object of his righteous outrage - Neil Lennon's tracksuit top.
"Basically he's showing off these colours purely to appeal to the terrorist loving filth in the Celtic support and to try and provoke the rest of the country."Er, no. He's just wearing a tracksuit while watching his team play, just like thousands of other soccer managers do every week. I very much doubt that anyone other than Mr Celticnewco and his friends are provoked by it in the slightest.
The next line is brilliant:
"It was pointed out to me, by a decent Celtic fan no less (yes they do exist), that with the lack of Rangers v Celtic matches this season that Lennon, who seems to be addicted to provocation, may be using this tracksuit to fill a void that he used to fill by gesturing and taunting the Rangers support in person."It's incredible how so many of these vanguardbearloony types have a best friend who supports Celtic (sometimes it's a brother-in-law or cousin) and who constantly affirms the reasonableness of their anti-Celtic feelings. You see, even decent Celtic supporters are outraged by the behaviour of the club and its fans!
Mr Celticnewco then gives us his "proof" that Neil Lennon is out to provoke him by printing some photos of Neil Lennon wearing his provocative tracksuit top this season, juxtaposed with images of Neil Lennon, er, not wearing a tracksuit top in previous seasons...
But hang on a minute, I thought The Rangers fans don't watch Celtic matches?
Mr Celticnewco then calls for a letter and email campaign against Nike, Neil Lennon and Celtic to complain about this provocative tracksuit!
Of course, Mr Celticnewco, just like Ally McCoist, abhors violence of any kind and calls on The Rangers fans to handle this issue with, "maturity," finishing with, "Keep the threats and inTIMidation for those from the other side of the city."
I'm not sure what to make of his final sentence.
Is he saying that The Rangers fans, who have threatened QC's, club directors, opposition stadia, managers, journalists and bloggers, should leave that kind of thing to Celtic fans?
Or is he saying that Celtic fans should be threatened and intimidated?
He really needs to sharpen up on his grammar and syntax.
Mr Celticnewco's blog is typical of the wave of The Rangers bloggers infesting the internet these days.
Leggat, Graham, McMurdo et al are characterised by extreme paranoia, an overblown sense of their own, and The Rangers', importance, a complete lack of humour and an incredible ability to churn out half-truths, lies and distortions.
They love to present themselves as fine, upstanding citizens, full of righteous indignation over the way their new club has been treated by everyone in Scotland, all masterminded of course by Peter Lawwell.
While their ravings are highly entertaining, they are unquestionably feeding the perma-rage of the The Rangers fans, which is constantly simmering away at the best of times, but which has over the past year erupted into threats against persons and property on a depressingly regular basis.
Mr Celticnewco is representative of a breed of The Rangers fans who use the threat of violence to shut down debate and criticism around their new and old clubs.
It's not just fans stoking their anger, it's the new club as well.
From The Scottish Sun pulling the serialisation of Downfall, through credible threats to the lives of The Rangers' perceived, "enemies," to attempts to burn down Starks Park following McCoist's disingenuous outburst, The Rangers and their fans are in the process of ensuring that just like the now defunct club formed in 1872, they will never be treated like every other club in Scotland.
Fortunately, this is a dying beast.
The Britain they profess to love is no more (if it ever existed). It has left them behind.
The diverse nation that Britain has become in the 21st century bears not even the merest passing resemblance to the imperial Neverland they inhabit.
The summer of 2012 proves that Mr Celticnewco's, "rest of the country," are not the The Rangers fans without the busfare many people wrongly assumed they were.
Soccer clubs and their fans the length and breadth of Scotland reacted with revulsion to the antics of first Rangers, then The Rangers and their supporters.
They wanted, and want, no part of the cheating, the dishonesty, the misplaced sense of superiority, the entitlement and above all the aggression and violence that characterises these peepil.
Scotland too has left the The Rangers fans behind.
Five years ago, the now defunct Rangers FC was the only soccer club in Britain to "mark," the 300th anniversary of the Act of Union.
How ironic that they should enter liquidation in the same month that plans were put in place to hold a referendum on Scottish independence.
If only they didn't pose such a danger to civil society, The Rangers and the more deranged amongst their fan base would be more to be pitied than scorned.
