The Fiddle Game

A rather harassed-looking man, let's call him Craig, walks into a bar carrying a beat-up old violin case.

He sits at the bar and after ordering a pint of Carlsberg tells the barman, let's call him Billy, all his troubles. A beloved uncle has just died, leaving him as executor of the will and it is proving very problematic. Our man has ten minutes before he has to go to the lawyer's office to sort out some frustrating legal claims on his uncle's estate.

The worst part of it? All the old boy left him was this battered old violin.

He takes it out of the case to show the barman, telling him it's only worth about £100, then asks if he can leave it behind the bar while he goes to the lawyer's office.

Taking pity on him, the barman says that would be okay and Craig rushes off to see the lawyer.

Ten minutes later another man, let's call him Charlie, comes in and asks for a pint of Dry Blackthorn.

Noticing the violin case sitting behind the bar, he asks the barman if he can have a look.

As he opens the case and picks up the violin in his big 'ands, he momentarily opens his mouth wide in astonishment before regaining his composure as he asks if it's for sale?

"It's not mine," says the barman, "it belongs to a customer who inherited it from his uncle. It's only worth about £100."

"Listen," says Charlie, this thing is a Stradivarius. Clean it up a bit, spot of polish, and it could be worth hundreds of thousands of pounds! I'm an antique dealer and I'd pay £100,000 - £150,000 for it. I know a man in London would pay any price I wanted for it over the phone right now!"

"He should be back in a while, he just went to see a lawyer. He's coming back for it," says the barman.

Charlie checks his watch impatiently, lets out a few frustrated noises, then says, "I can't wait, my train leaves in ten minutes. I'm going to have to go. Can you give him this?" He hands over an embossed business card, introducing himself as a dealer in fine musical antiques. "Get him to call me," he calls over his shoulder as he hurriedly leaves.

The barman is now thinking over his options. When the owner of the violin returns, he offers him £1000 for the violin. "It's my son's birthday next week," he says. "He's going to be 10 and he's been learning to play at school. Last week some bullies stole his violin and smashed it up. I think he's been punished enough and he's threatening to make everyone miserable if he doesn't get a new one."

"No, I couldn't possibly," he says. "It's all I've got left to remind me of my uncle."

The barman cajoles him, offering £2,000, £3,000, £6,000. Craig is now looking tempted, but still can't bring himself to part with his uncle's violin. Finally, on being offered £8,000, Craig relents and reluctantly parts with the violin.

Billy smiles contentedly. Now where's Charlie's card?

Later that night, at a lock-up garage, Craig and Charlie meet and Craig hands £4,000 over to Charlie for his trouble. Charlie puts the money in his pocket with a broad smile as Craig goes into the garage and picks up a battered old violin case from a large pile of them.

"See you later then Charlie?"

"Sure thing Craig. Same time tomorrow night."














I can't help but think of that story every time I think of a certain other Craig and Charlie. Somehow I don't think either of them are out of pocket.